thewanderingknitter

I can not even express in words how much I hate “the truth” anti-smoking commercials, is there really anyone out there that has not heard that smoking isn’t so great for you?  Not only are the commercials extremely heavy handed and ridiculously dramatic, they also make me cringe just a bit.  However, the lastest one does feature two actors who should consider trying out for Cats - check out their jazz hands!  But really, whenever I see one of those ads it just makes me sad.  Both my parents are very heavy smokers (if someone was to release a soundtrack of my childhood, many tracks would feature the sound of lighters) these ads make me think of  my parents mortality.  The fact that they will probably never get a chance to meet their grandchildren (unless I get going on that pretty soon) just makes me sad.  Smoking is just something that they are not willing to give up, no matter how many conversations I have with them.  In a way, I think these ads make me think of myself as a failure- I was not able to help my parents in any way and due to that, their lives are going to be cut short.

Gave my two weeks notice at my job today, I start student teaching in two weeks and I’m beyond ready.  The child that I nanny for is an amazing autistic toddler, and it really breaks my heart to leave him.  It does not break my heart to leave the family, they have made it very clear that I am just “the help”.  I was not raised with nannies, maids, or really any other form of domestic help so this attitude kind of baffles my mind when I am really the primary caregiver for this child.  I’m really sad that I will be missing out on exciting milestones that this child reaches.  Since I started working with him nine months ago he has become increasingly verbal, been able to sustain awesome eye contact and he really notices when someone leaves or enters the room.  I have sat through countless hours of ABA therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy with this child and it’s really hard for me to just break away from him.

It’s really quite bittersweet and I’m not sure the right way to exit, do I knit him a little parting gift?  Write a letter explaining how amazing this child is?  Or just leave a detailed schedule for the person who follows me to read over?